Fashionista

Freshman Year: “UH! Everyone is so big and scary!!!!!”

Sophomore Year: “Ok, ok, I see how you do..” 

Junior Year: “FUCK YEAH!!!! I’M GONNA ROCK THIS JOINT!!!!!!!” 

Senior Year: “Why the HELL am I still here?” 

So, on this sweet old afternoon the peeps of my house invited a family over for lunch. NOW, this was not just a regular run of the mill family. That’s right, it’s a hipster family with a 2-YEAR OLD and a 1-YEAR OLD…. which was a RECIPE FOR DISASTER. 

Through of the course of this torrential disaster, the 2-year old managed to find the restricted room of the house. This is the room that is the holiest of holys. Only the high priest is allowed in there and the 2-year old just barged right in like she was the king’s precious daughter.

Of ALL the things she could have done in that room, she decided to sit in the $5,000 chair. WE NEVER SIT IN THAT CHAIR. As she gravitated towards the pure white chair everyone in my family was screaming in their heads, “GOD NO, NOT THE $5,000 CHAIR!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT CHAIR!” 

She sat in it, WITH her shoes on whilst drooling and with sticky-ass child fingers and said, “I poopie.” Her parents laughed but between my family it was if someone had just died. The HIGHEST form of disrespect. SHE WAS POOING WHILE SITTING IN THE HOLY GRAND $5,000 CHAIR. The room feel silent….. when the mom asked, “Is something the matter?” 

IS SOMETHING THE MATTER? UMMM HELL YEAH!!!!!!!! MAM, YOUR DAUGHTER JUST ‘POOPIED’ IN A FREAKIN’ $5,000 CHAIR

That awkward moment when you’re with someone and they start going crazy out of no where 

And I’m just like 

Then they’re like “I DON’T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS OF ME!”

Then I just stare at them like 

Good luck with that…

SO, at my school you have to take this CRAZY ASS oral final before you graduate. The grade doesn’t really go anywhere, so I’m probably NOT going to study and show up like

Then try to distract the teacher

As soon as I have reached the time limit, I will sprint out of there